How are your Resolutions going?

Twas The Month After Christmas

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The biscuits I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
I walked to the shop, less a walk than a lumber

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The turkey stuffing, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself up in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend all winter disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or french bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

**Got a kick out of this and thought I would share. Do you feel my pain?!"