You know how we all want to be the ultimate Mom. "Cool", comforting, kisser of the boo-boo's, lap for their sleepy, sweaty little heads, first one they want when they wake up and all that good stuff. Well, I appreciate my Mom so much just because I took her for granted and she never noticed, or supposedly she didn't. When I think of the impact I have on my boys and how I am helping to mold them into the men they will someday be, I am overwhelmed. I give of myself, according to Josh sometimes too much, and it doesn't matter as long as they are happy. They tell me thank you with their smiles, hugs, love and by patting me on the butt. So not sweet and ooohy-gooohy but they run by and slap me and I know, that they know, that I'm still there. It can be crazy at times with a house full of testosterone but I love every crazy second of it. And I know one day they will be grown and will tell me in words, hopefully, how they love me and what they think about me. Right now, their vocabulary is very limited and that's fine, no problem there. But they both made comments last night that made me want to ball!!
Houston received a DS for his birthday and they love it. I'm not a video game fan, simply because I don't have the time to be but I could get a little addicted if time allowed. Anyway, they wanted me to play with them and it was close to bedtime so I did. They watched intently and let out the yells and sighs. Never realizing how many men it had taken to get through a certain level they had been having problems with, I did make it.
They both high fived me and Levi said the sweetest thing to me. His eyes were huge from excitement and shock. He sees me as his Mom, caretaker and disciplinarian. But he looked at me as if he saw me as someone different, then. "Oh, Momma, wow, you are awesome, you're amazing. I didn't know I had a cool Momma as you! You're the best. You made it Momma, you did it!"
OK For some reason chills went all over me and I wanted to cry. How sweet. He thinks I'm amazing, he thinks I'm awesome and all I did was sit down and play about 15 mins of Nintendo DS with them. When I'm thinking, I have fixed him the nicest of clothes, fixed him his favorite meal, etc. that stuff does not matter to him. Just sitting down and accomplishing something he can't and killing a little dragon made me awesome in his eyes. I'm gonna stop trying so hard to be the perfect Mom and focus on being HIS, Houston's Mom, not what everybody says I should be as a Mother, but the things that matter to them, more. I'm definitely not forgetting my duties but rather I'm gonna focus on some of my desires. Like one on one time, just for 15 mins. that I would have seen as "wasting time" but that he will remember and tell his friends about. Is that selfish, I hope not. But I truly felt like I had received the best compliment ever. It was so worth wasting 15 mins for. They hugged me, screamed, called for their Daddy to come see. It was a great moment. Then after they settled down, Houston simply looked at me and said, "Momma, you're a Super-Hero!" OK, that's one the best nights of my life.